RAUK - Archived Forum - Jokes

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."

A scientist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog jumped across the room.

The scientist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs - jumped eight feet."

Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.

After measuring the distance, the scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs - jumped three feet."

Next, the scientist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog just lay there.

"Jump, frog, jump!" the scientist repeated.

Nothing.

The scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing."

[QUOTE=Dave1812] Don't give up the day job!!  [/QUOTE]

Perfectly Timed Photos

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION

1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Trevor is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Trevor can be
10 classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I truly recommend that Trevor be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum
The idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote this report.
Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."

hahahaha.....

a bloke was in the library when suddenly a chicken walked past him to the counter where it stopped, looked up at the librarian and said "book! book-book-book! book!" (sounds like a chicken clucking). the librarian gave the chicken five books and it left. half an hour later the chicken came back, looked up at the librarian again and said "book! book-book-book! book! book! the liabrarian gave it six books and it left. half and hour later it was back again doing exactly the same thing. this time the man decided to follow it to see what it was up to. the man followed the chicked down the road, through some woods to a pond. the chicken stopped at the pond where a frog was waiting on a lilly pad. the chicken looked at the frog, put one of the books down in front of it and said "book!"  the frog looked at the book then looked at the chicken and said "rrrrrrreddit!"

sorry

Source: www.holytaco.com/25-pics-gary-busey-looking-pretty-much-insa ne